I should know. I'm so American, I bleed apple pie. So, in the interests of making sure you look exactly like what you are—that most precious of all things, an American tourist—I put together this handy cheat-sheet. You can thank me later!
"Nothing compares to the simple elegance of Crocs with socks." SO true....
Having lived overseas twice, I got to the point where after a few months I found myself appalled at American behavior...and I was one of them! Still, we are what we are...and most people understand that. Besides, it's not as if we're going to be able to camouflage ourselves. No matter what we do, our mannerisms, loud voices, and garish clothes are a dead giveaway.
I always found that just being polite went a long ways. People know you're not a local; there's nothing you can do to hide it. Still, you don't have to go out of your way to advertise it.
My tip: Never, under any conceivable circumstances, wear socks of any sorts with Birkenstocks. Ever.
I would be innocent of most of these gaffes, but I'm rarely seen in anything but cargo shorts these days. I could definitely see myself feeding pigeons, and thereby bringing Italian legal wrath down upon myself. (I'd like to think I wouldn't confuse the resulting ticket with official approbation though.) Probably the only reason I wouldn't try to look like I'm holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, is because I never take pictures of myself, and I probably wouldn't have even thought of it. I'm not visually creative - (not that something that occurs to most tourists could necessarily be considered all that creative.) I can definitely see myself suddenly exclaiming out of nowhere the fun rhyme about diarrhea since I randomly do that here. I'll even text it to my mom on occasion, and she has to ask if I'm having digestive issues, or am just bored out of my mind. It's often a little of both...
LOL! From the wild and wonderful desk of Beth Purkhiser, ladies and gentlemen, I give you ... the diarrhea song! I love your sense of whimsy! And I hate that you're sometimes bored. It's the worst feeling in the world, isn't it?
Crocks and selfies are in the same basket of "the absolute inexplicable" to me. Of course, these days I'm all about deck shoes and no socks, so I may not be well-positioned to comment on other people's choices.
Winter Edition: Be sure to bring your favorite down vests and jackets to Europe. No European would be caught dead in a down jacket looking like Michelin Man, but don't let that stop you!
Stacey has neatly summarized why people think I am English, Irish, or Scottish instead of American: I never wear anything that Stacey has listed here, chuckle.
The idea of wearing spaghetti straps in a Roman Catholic Church is absolutely outré. I remember being seven years old and learning that sleeveless dresses on children were forbidden in RC Churches back then. Fortunately my mother had a scarf with her.
I certainly would not try to do so as a Crone Hag: all of my distinctively non-Christian upper arm tattoos would show, uh-oh!
My favorite season in Italy is late September into October, when they have autumn food festivals. I am also wildly fond of springtime in Italy. In other words: just don't go in the summer, especially to Roma or Firenze.
American tourists are cringey even domestically, as I know from spending most of a lifetime in Washington, DC.
Every time you go inside a Catholic Church in spaghetti straps, Jesus sets fire to a school bus ;-) And you are 100% about the best times to travel. I love all the sagre (except for gross ones involving cinghiale dishes). Italians wear quilted down jackets, but they're never puffy (as you already know) or Michelin Man. And I have only seen one Italian wearing crocs. Ever.
"Nothing compares to the simple elegance of Crocs with socks." SO true....
Having lived overseas twice, I got to the point where after a few months I found myself appalled at American behavior...and I was one of them! Still, we are what we are...and most people understand that. Besides, it's not as if we're going to be able to camouflage ourselves. No matter what we do, our mannerisms, loud voices, and garish clothes are a dead giveaway.
I always found that just being polite went a long ways. People know you're not a local; there's nothing you can do to hide it. Still, you don't have to go out of your way to advertise it.
My tip: Never, under any conceivable circumstances, wear socks of any sorts with Birkenstocks. Ever.
Said like a TRUE world traveler. High-fives on all of it.
Oh…and leave the 49ers t-shirt at home. You can thank me later. :-)
Savage!
Love this! May I add baggy black sweat pants...? It's all I've worn for the last 18 or so months.
Girl, you and me both! If it ain't comfortable, I ain't wearing it.
I would be innocent of most of these gaffes, but I'm rarely seen in anything but cargo shorts these days. I could definitely see myself feeding pigeons, and thereby bringing Italian legal wrath down upon myself. (I'd like to think I wouldn't confuse the resulting ticket with official approbation though.) Probably the only reason I wouldn't try to look like I'm holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, is because I never take pictures of myself, and I probably wouldn't have even thought of it. I'm not visually creative - (not that something that occurs to most tourists could necessarily be considered all that creative.) I can definitely see myself suddenly exclaiming out of nowhere the fun rhyme about diarrhea since I randomly do that here. I'll even text it to my mom on occasion, and she has to ask if I'm having digestive issues, or am just bored out of my mind. It's often a little of both...
LOL! From the wild and wonderful desk of Beth Purkhiser, ladies and gentlemen, I give you ... the diarrhea song! I love your sense of whimsy! And I hate that you're sometimes bored. It's the worst feeling in the world, isn't it?
Crocks and selfies are in the same basket of "the absolute inexplicable" to me. Of course, these days I'm all about deck shoes and no socks, so I may not be well-positioned to comment on other people's choices.
Fashionistas we are not, Gares. I have three baggy black T-shirts. I have three black cotton leggings. All are on rotation, then it's wash and repeat.
I def have more t-shirts than you. Some little while back, I stopped wearing collared shirts altogether, not even "camp shirts." Fuck it, I'm retired.
Winter Edition: Be sure to bring your favorite down vests and jackets to Europe. No European would be caught dead in a down jacket looking like Michelin Man, but don't let that stop you!
Stacey has neatly summarized why people think I am English, Irish, or Scottish instead of American: I never wear anything that Stacey has listed here, chuckle.
The idea of wearing spaghetti straps in a Roman Catholic Church is absolutely outré. I remember being seven years old and learning that sleeveless dresses on children were forbidden in RC Churches back then. Fortunately my mother had a scarf with her.
I certainly would not try to do so as a Crone Hag: all of my distinctively non-Christian upper arm tattoos would show, uh-oh!
My favorite season in Italy is late September into October, when they have autumn food festivals. I am also wildly fond of springtime in Italy. In other words: just don't go in the summer, especially to Roma or Firenze.
American tourists are cringey even domestically, as I know from spending most of a lifetime in Washington, DC.
Sigh......
Every time you go inside a Catholic Church in spaghetti straps, Jesus sets fire to a school bus ;-) And you are 100% about the best times to travel. I love all the sagre (except for gross ones involving cinghiale dishes). Italians wear quilted down jackets, but they're never puffy (as you already know) or Michelin Man. And I have only seen one Italian wearing crocs. Ever.