"Do these officials truly not understand why their countries face plunging fertility rates?"
There is a t-shirt, popular at Ren Faire but many other places as well, that announces, "The floggings will continue until morale improves." So, yeah. That's where my mind went.
The friends from grad school who went on to marry and spawn all went through a "come-to-Jesus" series of reflections about what they were doing, but theirs (and these were all men) centered around the responsibility of bringing a child into a world that is arguably on the brink of collapse. Come to think of it, I don't recall any of the women whom I knew in grad school that were in any hurry to terminate the career they'd gone to such extraordinary lengths to create for the sake of manufacturing some screaming pink thing with bowel control issues.
I had no idea there was such a systematic & organized refusal movement out there. Thanks for sharing this.
Right. It's the "systematic and organized refusal" part that's fascinating to me. Every country has a sexism problem, but it looks a little differently wherever you go. In the case of South Korea, it's so appallingly obvious, no wonder they went on baby strike.
I'm 62, and I never saw the sense in having children. There were things I wanted to do with my life, and raising children never fit into those plans. I couldn't very well drag kids into a war zone, could I?
My wife felt the same way, though not nearly as strongly. In her case, the right person never came along, and she wasn't willing to compromise just to have a family. By the time we married, she was 48 and motherhood was an unlikely and unsafe option.
I have three brothers who've started families, and I'm happy for them. It just never made sense for me, and I've never apologized for that. I've never asked people to understand, because I don't need their understanding. I made my decision long ago, and like any decision, it's had its consequences, both good and bad. I've made my peace with it.
When I meet people who think I've made a grave and silly mistake, I genuinely have to laugh. Perhaps by their criteria I've made a mistake, but by mine (the only one that matters) I've done just fine. I've never missed children; far from it. All in all, I think my decision has held up well over the years.
Some might think my decision selfish, and I'm OK with selfish. If I can't think of myself first when making life decisions, then who would I think of? It's my life; I just chose to live it without progeny. I think the world has done just fine without a passel of mini-Jacks in it. 🤣
It's hard to swim upstream. It really is. I have a lot of childless friends, and I never ever EVER question their decisions or secretly judge them. You did the right thing for you, and that's the beginning, middle, and end of the subject. Harm you never did. And I'll be the first to say that having kids puts strain of any relationship.
Great article. It’s all too clear how the cogs in the wheels of capitalism and greed have tilted the planet off its axis to the nth degree. These models are unsustainable for humane happiness and the environment. With trickle down, it’s just that, Ivory towers and pitchforks. The wealth gap is gaudy and grotesque at best. It’s like Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a mountain of bills just to see another mountain behind it. With shit pay and long hours, or two jobs, what’s the point of incubating more despair and strife for future cogs? And Alito’s single celled amoebic beliefs have inseminated and divided the country further. There’s certainly better ways of doing things, as you’ve pointed out, so the status quo must go. With the advent of global warming, a rising tide will eventually swallow up everyone’s appetite for cake and be an ocean of ghost ships.
Very good stuff, Tracey. You got to the subject before I had a chance to take it on. I am going to write an FB post this morning on the subject as it pertains to where I am, which is in Italy. In addition to the points you make, I will add a couple of others, one a general statement about a species-wide apprehension of the future and another about the lack of economic opportunity here in Italy.
I agree with the sentiment that the usual "growth" oriented policies of government - and business - may be an obsolete paradigm. What new paradigm might evolve is difficult to "see" and because it is difficult to envisage it is almost impossible to assess. But, what the hell, let us walk through the valley of the shadow of the unknown until our eyes adjust to the dimness.
I would love to read your take on it, Vian. It's a fascinating cultural zeitgeist we find ourselves in right now. I'm sure you have plenty to say on the subject.
I don't have a lot to say on it, Stacey, but from 50 or 60,000 feet up (Chinese surveillance balloon height), vast swaths of the human species seems to move as if, collectively, we are informed by forces that are far beyond individual human control, and even beyond the control of our so-called governments.
As you know, here in Italy there is much under the radar anxiety about economic security. Rather than address the politically and bureaucratically frustrated economic development of the country, plans are made to "support" families - more money for breeders, I guess. Cash for babies; more daycare blah blah blah. Their are no plans to foster a culture of entrepreneurialism that is not undercut by regulation and laws that create barriers to entry and pole-ax the evolution of small into medium and medium into large businesses.
So, there's THAT disincentive to procreative fucking. But add that disincentive to the general attitudes men have toward women and which too many women have toward themselves in terms of their roles within the family, and a reasonable desire on the part of many to become "liberated" to pursue their own dreams... well who can blame them for not wanting the burden of bearing and raising children. The combination of these two things is so powerful that Italy faces an outflow of the young, a negative birthrate and a rapidly aging population. Absolutely no one should be surprised at this "collective" result.
"Do these officials truly not understand why their countries face plunging fertility rates?"
There is a t-shirt, popular at Ren Faire but many other places as well, that announces, "The floggings will continue until morale improves." So, yeah. That's where my mind went.
The friends from grad school who went on to marry and spawn all went through a "come-to-Jesus" series of reflections about what they were doing, but theirs (and these were all men) centered around the responsibility of bringing a child into a world that is arguably on the brink of collapse. Come to think of it, I don't recall any of the women whom I knew in grad school that were in any hurry to terminate the career they'd gone to such extraordinary lengths to create for the sake of manufacturing some screaming pink thing with bowel control issues.
I had no idea there was such a systematic & organized refusal movement out there. Thanks for sharing this.
Right. It's the "systematic and organized refusal" part that's fascinating to me. Every country has a sexism problem, but it looks a little differently wherever you go. In the case of South Korea, it's so appallingly obvious, no wonder they went on baby strike.
'some screaming pink thing with bowel control issues'... it sadly and so ingenuously and callously says it all ...
LOL! You and I are parents, Tony. To us, the screaming pink things are adorable. We love them. But to others, they're a lot less cute :-)
I'm 62, and I never saw the sense in having children. There were things I wanted to do with my life, and raising children never fit into those plans. I couldn't very well drag kids into a war zone, could I?
My wife felt the same way, though not nearly as strongly. In her case, the right person never came along, and she wasn't willing to compromise just to have a family. By the time we married, she was 48 and motherhood was an unlikely and unsafe option.
I have three brothers who've started families, and I'm happy for them. It just never made sense for me, and I've never apologized for that. I've never asked people to understand, because I don't need their understanding. I made my decision long ago, and like any decision, it's had its consequences, both good and bad. I've made my peace with it.
When I meet people who think I've made a grave and silly mistake, I genuinely have to laugh. Perhaps by their criteria I've made a mistake, but by mine (the only one that matters) I've done just fine. I've never missed children; far from it. All in all, I think my decision has held up well over the years.
Some might think my decision selfish, and I'm OK with selfish. If I can't think of myself first when making life decisions, then who would I think of? It's my life; I just chose to live it without progeny. I think the world has done just fine without a passel of mini-Jacks in it. 🤣
It's hard to swim upstream. It really is. I have a lot of childless friends, and I never ever EVER question their decisions or secretly judge them. You did the right thing for you, and that's the beginning, middle, and end of the subject. Harm you never did. And I'll be the first to say that having kids puts strain of any relationship.
Yep. No regrets. My life has been what it’s been because I didn’t have children. We all make decisions. We all decide what to give up along the way.
Great article. It’s all too clear how the cogs in the wheels of capitalism and greed have tilted the planet off its axis to the nth degree. These models are unsustainable for humane happiness and the environment. With trickle down, it’s just that, Ivory towers and pitchforks. The wealth gap is gaudy and grotesque at best. It’s like Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a mountain of bills just to see another mountain behind it. With shit pay and long hours, or two jobs, what’s the point of incubating more despair and strife for future cogs? And Alito’s single celled amoebic beliefs have inseminated and divided the country further. There’s certainly better ways of doing things, as you’ve pointed out, so the status quo must go. With the advent of global warming, a rising tide will eventually swallow up everyone’s appetite for cake and be an ocean of ghost ships.
I know you see the hardships. "With shit pay and long hours, or two jobs, what's the point of incubating more despair and strife for future cogs?"
Word up.
Very good stuff, Tracey. You got to the subject before I had a chance to take it on. I am going to write an FB post this morning on the subject as it pertains to where I am, which is in Italy. In addition to the points you make, I will add a couple of others, one a general statement about a species-wide apprehension of the future and another about the lack of economic opportunity here in Italy.
I agree with the sentiment that the usual "growth" oriented policies of government - and business - may be an obsolete paradigm. What new paradigm might evolve is difficult to "see" and because it is difficult to envisage it is almost impossible to assess. But, what the hell, let us walk through the valley of the shadow of the unknown until our eyes adjust to the dimness.
I would love to read your take on it, Vian. It's a fascinating cultural zeitgeist we find ourselves in right now. I'm sure you have plenty to say on the subject.
I don't have a lot to say on it, Stacey, but from 50 or 60,000 feet up (Chinese surveillance balloon height), vast swaths of the human species seems to move as if, collectively, we are informed by forces that are far beyond individual human control, and even beyond the control of our so-called governments.
As you know, here in Italy there is much under the radar anxiety about economic security. Rather than address the politically and bureaucratically frustrated economic development of the country, plans are made to "support" families - more money for breeders, I guess. Cash for babies; more daycare blah blah blah. Their are no plans to foster a culture of entrepreneurialism that is not undercut by regulation and laws that create barriers to entry and pole-ax the evolution of small into medium and medium into large businesses.
So, there's THAT disincentive to procreative fucking. But add that disincentive to the general attitudes men have toward women and which too many women have toward themselves in terms of their roles within the family, and a reasonable desire on the part of many to become "liberated" to pursue their own dreams... well who can blame them for not wanting the burden of bearing and raising children. The combination of these two things is so powerful that Italy faces an outflow of the young, a negative birthrate and a rapidly aging population. Absolutely no one should be surprised at this "collective" result.