Think you don't do it? You'd be wrong. Needing someone to fix you is not the same thing as loving them, by the way. Falling in love with how someone makes you feel about yourself isn’t love. Being someone you’re not in order to “make” someone love you is nothing short of self-inflicted violence. But what if you have no clue who you really are? What if you’ve been so busy making yourself likable all the time that you’ve lost your own inner compass?
"Knowing who you are is a superpower." Like you, I found it late. In my case, I was in my fifties. It took two failed marriages, a ton of heartache, and more burned bridges than I care to remember (or admit to). I finally hand to draw my line in the sand (and get a swift kick in the ass) and get down to the dirty work of figuring out who I am and what I want. I still struggle at times, but it's a process, and it's getting better.
Writing a book showed me that I could do something without really giving a damn what others thought. It was mine, I did it for me, and y'all can take it or leave it. Ultimately, it was very well received, which showed me what I could accomplish when I have my priorities in order.
It really is a day-by-day struggle; some days are better than others...but it's getting better.
I used to teach an acqua aerobics class to some really terrific ladies in their fifties and sixties. They were self-accepting in a way that constantly blew my mind. Here I was a fit woman in her thirties who suffered agonizes of self-conscious embarrassment, and there they were, laughing, splashing around, having fun. Seeing them made me aspire to something more than my crap.
I love that you found your way. And yes, it IS always a process. Landing in a healthy relationship with a healthy man did wonders. That was a combination of luck, daring, persistence and flexibility. Prior to meeting John, I spent years not even dating.
"Knowing who you are is a superpower." Like you, I found it late. In my case, I was in my fifties. It took two failed marriages, a ton of heartache, and more burned bridges than I care to remember (or admit to). I finally hand to draw my line in the sand (and get a swift kick in the ass) and get down to the dirty work of figuring out who I am and what I want. I still struggle at times, but it's a process, and it's getting better.
Writing a book showed me that I could do something without really giving a damn what others thought. It was mine, I did it for me, and y'all can take it or leave it. Ultimately, it was very well received, which showed me what I could accomplish when I have my priorities in order.
It really is a day-by-day struggle; some days are better than others...but it's getting better.
I used to teach an acqua aerobics class to some really terrific ladies in their fifties and sixties. They were self-accepting in a way that constantly blew my mind. Here I was a fit woman in her thirties who suffered agonizes of self-conscious embarrassment, and there they were, laughing, splashing around, having fun. Seeing them made me aspire to something more than my crap.
I love that you found your way. And yes, it IS always a process. Landing in a healthy relationship with a healthy man did wonders. That was a combination of luck, daring, persistence and flexibility. Prior to meeting John, I spent years not even dating.