Do you even exist anymore? Against all odds, I survived my kids’ adolescence, and they survived my ineptitude. Naively, I thought the worst was beyond me. I was wrong. Because there’s that other other thing you don’t tell you about having kids, which is that they will grow up and have their own lives, where you are no longer a prominent feature. In fact, the whole time you’re raising them, you’ll be working against your own best interests. When they go, you’re left with that most miserable and disappointing of creatures: yourself, only a far older, shabbier version of yourself that has no idea who she is anymore and must now come to grips with the fact that she is no longer needed. By anyone.
I can relate all too well, divorced and was a single mom for quite a while, my childrens father did not see them for 4 years as a punishment to me and a new wife who wanted him to forget his “old” family . It keeps me up nights rehashing the many mistakes I made , but my kids turned out to be functioning adults thankfully. Motherhood is luck, it’s chance , it’s a wing and a prayer. It will bring you to your knees. My daughter is married with a 1 year old now and she is a better mother than I ever was and that gives me some peace of mind, but maybe just figured out what not to do from her own experience growing up. Either way it’s been a wild ride ❤️
It really REALLY is luck. Look at the kids who grew up under excoriating conditions but turned out just fine? And kids who grew up with everything and ain't worth shit? I'd say it's about 50% nature, 30% nurture, and all the rest of it is just a spin of the wheel.
That was raw. From my point of view, knowing you the way I know you - through exercise classes, your posts and your book - this is surprising to me a bit, at least when I first heard you talk this way about your kids. It's sweet and touching.
That proves what I've long known about myself: the things I talk about rarely reflect what's really going on inside; the things I don't talk about are the ones that are eating me alive ;-) But you're the world's best mom. I know you feel me.
Oh, true story: when I was in the army, three of us formed a "crew" that spent an enormous amount of time playing Avalon Hill and Strategy & Tactics board games. We all got nicknames that came from Marvel comics. The E6 combat veteran was "The Hulk," the E3 who'd just been assigned to our unit was "The Swamp Thing."
Well, aside from the fact that I've seen the movie a bunch of times (I'm a total sucker for hero stories) it is a popular .GIF on both Twitter and FB. And given that I'm about the oldest person I know, anytime someone makes a reference that I understand (even when it is Shakespeare) I want to raise my hand, jump up and down, and shout "I UNDERSTOOD THAT!!"
I can relate all too well, divorced and was a single mom for quite a while, my childrens father did not see them for 4 years as a punishment to me and a new wife who wanted him to forget his “old” family . It keeps me up nights rehashing the many mistakes I made , but my kids turned out to be functioning adults thankfully. Motherhood is luck, it’s chance , it’s a wing and a prayer. It will bring you to your knees. My daughter is married with a 1 year old now and she is a better mother than I ever was and that gives me some peace of mind, but maybe just figured out what not to do from her own experience growing up. Either way it’s been a wild ride ❤️
It really REALLY is luck. Look at the kids who grew up under excoriating conditions but turned out just fine? And kids who grew up with everything and ain't worth shit? I'd say it's about 50% nature, 30% nurture, and all the rest of it is just a spin of the wheel.
That was raw. From my point of view, knowing you the way I know you - through exercise classes, your posts and your book - this is surprising to me a bit, at least when I first heard you talk this way about your kids. It's sweet and touching.
That proves what I've long known about myself: the things I talk about rarely reflect what's really going on inside; the things I don't talk about are the ones that are eating me alive ;-) But you're the world's best mom. I know you feel me.
"Against all odds, I survived my kids’ adolescence, and they survived my ineptitude."
I think it was John Candy's line from 'Home Alone': "Kids are resilient. I mean, ours was talking again after six weeks."
LOL! That's some good writing. And Candy was just the guy to deliver such a line.
"small but mighty"
https://i1.wp.com/zacharytotah.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/I-Understood-that-Reference-Meme-Original.jpg
I don't know how you even found that!
Oh, true story: when I was in the army, three of us formed a "crew" that spent an enormous amount of time playing Avalon Hill and Strategy & Tactics board games. We all got nicknames that came from Marvel comics. The E6 combat veteran was "The Hulk," the E3 who'd just been assigned to our unit was "The Swamp Thing."
And me?
I was "Captain America."
BAHAHAHAHAHA! Captain America (you gotta admit) is perfect for you.
I did not argue with the choice, then or later.
Well, aside from the fact that I've seen the movie a bunch of times (I'm a total sucker for hero stories) it is a popular .GIF on both Twitter and FB. And given that I'm about the oldest person I know, anytime someone makes a reference that I understand (even when it is Shakespeare) I want to raise my hand, jump up and down, and shout "I UNDERSTOOD THAT!!"
Now, see, this is news I need to know. Gares' catnip is hero stories. CHECK.