Commiserations, your words echo in all of us who have lost our mothers. Mine departed when I was twenty-five and over the years I've become a lot like her.

Surprisingly many of these similarities I can be very proud of.

All our mothers' loves are their ongoing gift to us, helping us to find our ways through all the empty places we must walk in this life.

As for places in this world, find the one where your heart feels most at home.

I've never been to the States and even though there surely are outstandingly beautiful and marvelous sights and situations there... I've not the slightest inclination to ever go there.

A place where people still run around with deadly weapons is so 'dark ages' to me than any other place could possibly be.

Hope your heart will find peace again and continue its mending. Lots of love,


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First, let me just say this about that...


And I am very, very sorry for your losses.

There is, though, one item from the column whose real meaning I may not have grasped, because by my naive reading, I disagree:

> There are so many tech advancements here, from payment methods to navigating

> oversized grocery stores, I find myself struggling to learn them all. To imagine such

> things being made available in Italy is almost funny

The last few times I was in Italy (practically in your old backyard: Spello and Foligno), I didn't need paper currency at all. Perhaps it was due to COVID, but whatever the reason: I paid for everything by using ApplePay on my watch. No fuss; no muss. With the magic word "Contactless", it was click, tap, and done.

(Side note: Apple Maps previously listed "Tito Giusti" as "Giusti Tito", but they fixed it when I sent the link to the company's web site that shows the building with the company's proper name.)

But again, welcome back! (I was in the tragic gardening mishap camp; I'm thrilled to have been mistaken.)

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Your timing couldn't have hit me harder, but I'm glad to have you in my inbox again. I'm unable to speak of your grief, but know already that I feel it and so admire your ability to give it voice.

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Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities. I can really feel your grief and appreciate what you are going through.

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Jun 5, 2023·edited Jun 5, 2023

My deepest sympathies to you and yours with open arms and open ears. The dark and light colors you paint with your words are brutally honest, beautifully painted, and relatable in so many facets. I wish you well in your healing process to recover the mojo from the changes in your journey. You’re inspirational and dearly missed.❤️

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Welcome back. And your "re-emergence," or whatever you may choose to call it, should come at whatever pace and/or form you choose. A lot of shit has rolled down your hill of late, and that should take priority over anything else.

I lost my father three years ago, and while we were never close, he was still my father, and it still exacted a toll on me. I still miss him. I cried once, but that one instance was as if a dam had burst. Years of pent-up emotion came bursting forth...all while I was behind the wheel of my car, I might add, not the time or place I'd recommend for that sort of epiphany.

As for Italy, you've lost a big piece of your heart, and that's no small thing. I suspect you'll be mourning that for quite some time. Still, if there's one thing I've learned in my travels, it's that you can be happy anywhere you are if you put your mind to it. The power of place is undeniable, but the power of memory can help carry you through, as well.

New York can be tough and unforgiving, but it can also be amazing and wondrous and full of hidden jewels- the sort of thing someone like you can work wonders with. In time, I think you'll do well there. I'll look you up when Erin and I are next in New York, but in the meantime, I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you and John will settle into a life that will bring you joy, happiness, and many decent Italian meals.

Mazel tov!!❤️

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I am very sorry the past few months have sucked so hard. My sincere condolences to you. There's not really a good way to transition from that to this, but: I am glad you're back. Peace be with you.

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So glad you are back, dear Stacey. I know how difficult it has been for you after coming back to the US, not finding work or a place to live, and then the the part of caring for your mom in her last days. It is almost too much for one to bear. But you are nothing if you’re not strong and determined and an overcomer. Did I mention focused and driven? You’ve got everything you need within you to turn this ship around.

I at first hesitated writing. I feel like anything I can say is not enough and truly inadequate to bring comfort to you. I know so often we are tempted to just move onto the next thing, rather than taking the time to feel the loss & process everything.

I have wanted to reach out after returning from Portugal, but will send a private note to you. You were so gracious with your voice messages and I was very grateful.


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welcome back. so aching for you and empathizing with your losses. i, of my mom, caring for her for four years.

as the USA becomes an enormous houston with guns, intolerance, homeless, racism,, hopelessness, hateful ness, and vapid, i find myself on the brink returning to the italian version of rot... especially having also lived the manhattan.

btw, ami's are fleeing the usa too: 26%, move to europe. why? quality of life. the no. 1 reason people leave italy: taxes.

yep lots of culture to discover any place. there is more to the usa than houston. or nyc. or acres of grocery store cereals, burgers, chips and soda. trading history, culture, civility for a treadmill to go go go… where. and for what?

rome wasn't built in a day. it also didn't fall in a day. it’s still there.

find your cave. but it might not be near rudy’s or greg abbot's. it just might be near plato’s. or Marcus Aurelius’s.


p.s. how did john take that amazing times sq/8th ave pic. drone? .gorgeous.

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And sorry about your Mom, caring for someone like that can be stressful but later you realize how precious that time truly is

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After reading Lewis Mumford's "The City in History", I used to joke that Los Angeles is not a city, it is a growth.

Then I traveled to Houston. Several times, over the years. Houston makes Los Angeles look like lower Manhattan. (And I do NOT mean the one in Kansas.)

This is probably as unhelpful as I suspect it is, but have you looked at getting a place across the river? It's still in commuter's distance of The City, but it is (or used to be) a lot cheaper.

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I have just moved from the States to Canada (in May) and you'd think that would have been pffftt... nothing. I'm shocked at my subtle culture shock. I think moving from one culture to another is a jolt no matter what - and the shift you just made is such a huge one.

I'm so happy to hear from you again! I have thought of you from time to time and I knew you would be back. And I also know you will find the beauty in New York. The brash, raw beauty of it. And I can't wait for you to tell us all about it. <3

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Great to hear from you again - sorry for your grief and struggles . I for one are keen to hear more from you

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Dear Stacey, I know I only “know you” through your blog but I want to let you know that I have been thinking about you and I have no adequate words to say as you grieve the terrible loss of your mom. You are in my thoughts. And although we are strangers, I feel a deep resonance with so much of what you write about in your blog. In that spirit, I am sending you love and light and I’m wishing you peace.💜

Jessi, a NYC gal living in Napoli

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So sorry about your mom, about Italy, about it all. Be gentle and patient with yourself as you inevitably go through a roller coaster of emotions for the foreseeable future.

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I’m so sorry about your mom’s death. You’ve had more than your share of nightmare days (weeks, months). Sending a big virtual hug!

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