I am sad that I only just found you at the end of your time in Italy, and just at the beginning of my own time there. We are escaping (fleeing?) for the reasons you wrote of and more.
I’m hooked though, and will cheer you on from the sidelines. I hope you can find some quiet in NYC...I’ve seen it there before.
Hey, Kari! I'm REALLY excited that you're here, and you will love Italy (and clearly already do) just as much as I love Italy. I'll still write about my nine years in the country, no worries. But now I'll have even more "local color" to add, albeit of a New York City variety. God help me.
Thanks for reaching out. I'm here if you need any perspective or advice!
As, you said, nine years ago you rolled the dice and won. It didn't happen passively; you made it happen. You found a way to tap dance through the cultural and personal minefields you encountered until you found a place that felt like home. You did it once, and you can do it again.
No, you WILL do it again.
Will it be Italy? Of course not, but it will be something different, and perhaps something wonderful. You have a gift for finding things to appreciate and seeing those things in ways others don't (or can't). Be open to that. Sure, it might seem terrifying now, but moving halfway around the world had to be at least a wee bit terrifying, no? The past nine years may have dulled the memory of that terror, but I'd wager it was there. And you overcame it and thrived.
You can do that again.
Who knows what this next phase of life will hold for you? Remember, nothing in life is permanent. None of us are going to get our of here alive. We might think we've reached our destination, but eventually we, too, shall be dragged out by our feet. Enjoy the moment, for it's all we have to fully inhabit.
I don't blame you for being scared. In your shoes, any sane, thoughtful person would be. But, at the risk of sounding trite, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're a brave person, and you've already closed your eyes and taken an unimaginable leap once. You know what that feels like, and you also knows what it feels like when you discover another world. Having done something vaguely similar myself, I can relate to a small degree. It takes cojones grandes to pick and move halfway around the world.
Returning can be an even greater challenge. That much I do remember.
Hold onto what you're feeling. It's legitimate and rare. And know that the future can hold wonderful things for you. I wish the best for you and for John. Times like these test relationships. Having a strong one will help you weather the storm.
Remember to be good to one another. Every ship needs a safe harbor when the wind starts to blow and the waves become tough to navigate. Besides, you're going to need someone to hold your beer every now and then, right? 🤣
What, are you kidding? You TOTALLY relate. We're made out of the same stuff, you and I. Same perspectives, same fear and loathing in Las Vegas dynamic, all of it.
Your perspective and encouragement mean a lot to me, Jack. I devour every word you write, always, determined to chipmunk it away. John says I have to approach this relo as a writer, and I do believe he's right. It's a variation on what you're telling me, which is to hold on to what I'm feeling.
So I will do that. Yes, times like these test relationships. I'll fight for what I love, but there is such a thing as force majeure, and only a fool refuses to see that or acknowledge its power.
I'll be reporting back. Thanks for being a friend.
Stacey, not all New Yorkers (myself retroactively included) are stoned, drunk and obnoxious. )) Just like not every Italian is a card-carrying Mafia member. Please. Wake up and look around you. See all the real tragedy and misery unfolding in the world right now.
Nooooooo! I don't believe that. Trust me. I'm merely reporting what John tells me (since he's already there), which is that the whole city is up in smoke right now ;-)
Trust me, none of the tragedy or misery escapes me.
My heart breaks for you, for having to give up your life in Italy, your cats, the peace you found-all of it. It makes my heart clench with fear to ever consider that I would ever have to leave Italy. I sincerely hope that after the shock wears off that you find new joys and a new rhythm amid the chaos you describe. "Bloom where you are planted" could be a helpful mantra during this transition.
I know exactly how you feel. I've watched friends of mine repatriate with the same sensation of horror and empathy. It's easy to leave something you hate; much harder to leave something you love. And I have had this dream of Italy. Please continue living it for me.
I can't get that word "skronk" out of my ears. That it's objective correlative is a real cacophony in yours makes me feel a bit sad. Yeah, sure, don the armour to survive. Kinda like a cold Ukrainian in the trenches.
Those poor people. They have it so much worse. A thousand times worse. I feel so awful for their plight, I'm consumed with guilt for even discussing my nothing-in-comparison bullshit. But ... at the end of the day, it IS my bullshit. It's real to me. And maybe my words will reach someone out there who is struggling with a similar situation. I sure hope so.
Part of the reason my second marriage died: I refused to move to NYC. I'd lived there before.
Hang in there. New York is not necessarily forever, by any means. And there are amazing opportunities there. There are amazing people there.
PM me your address, or a mailbox, once you have one. Sophie's grandmother, my mother in law from that deceased second marriage, wrote a wonderful book about the literary history of Gramercy Park. I'll send you a copy, and a copy of the walking tour of the neighborhood she wrote for ConEd too, if I can find a copy on ABE dot com.
Sending love and blessings. There's a lot to love in that seething metropolis. May you find wonderful opportunities there!
I cannot even imagine your trepidation. Moving to a place like NY City would surely be the death of me. I am a creature of wide open spaces and have found exactly that here in WY. It is a looooooong story that I'll share one day. For you my friend here's hoping for as soft a landing as is possible. You'll manage just fine no doubt and end up being all that much stronger as a result. To be sure you will have a host of supportive fans here! Need something? Just ask.
You are 100% a creature of wide open spaces. This I know. So I will report from the trenches if you promise me you guys will stay put! There's no need for you to put yourselves through this kind of stress when you don't have to.
You are already aware of my travails, so I'll not advertise them any further than I have. There's an ice storm outside right now, rattling on the roof. Seems appropriate.
We are surviving. Even if it's just for the next hour, the next day, the next week. More than that, no one can answer to. But things seem to be breaking your way right now in many respects, and THAT makes me happy.
It occurs to me that I've never had a rental application declined. It is looking like all the kitties will be taken care of, though it will involve shifting 3 of them to a shelter 150 miles north of where I live. One dog (the younger) may have a taker; the other (the 13yo Lab mix) there was only ever going to be one solution.
I’ve been thinking of you and John lately. A lot. It will not be the NYC of the 90’s that John remembers. It's a money town, more than ever. But you are strong, and both you and John are survivors in this often cruel world. Both of you are great in your respective fields. Your writing is sooooo good, and consistently so. Maybe NYC will be the place that picks up on that. It’s such a different place from the rest of the country. It’s harder to get almost anything done, but some of the most talented people in the world are there, and the people’s energy is electric. At least that’s how it was for me. I am eager to see how your re-entry goes.
Thank you, Harrison. It means a lot. John keeps telling me to look at NYC "like a writer," and hell, that's something I can definitely do. Creatives seek lives of psychological richness, so I'm guessing Gotham will be my opportunity to plumb those depths. You know I'll be reporting on them.
Stacey, I’m thinking of you. My beloved Manhattan is not for everyone, that’s true. However, I think with the right set of eyes you will not only survive but thrive. Remember, too, that we can talk off-line and I will be more than happy to share all sorts of info about my city with you. Hugs!
I want to love Manhattan, Jessi. I know it has enormous merit. So, yes, I may be grousing about it now, but who's to say I won't fall head over heels in love with it the same way most people do? I'm willing. And I am really glad to have your guidance on the city.
Other than the bizarre (suspicious?) Internet outage that is covering most of Italy right now I generally have access. Hubby and I are in Sicily for the week but as long as there’s Internet I am available. Looking forward to sharing tidbits and tips about my beloved city….🤗
I am sad that I only just found you at the end of your time in Italy, and just at the beginning of my own time there. We are escaping (fleeing?) for the reasons you wrote of and more.
I’m hooked though, and will cheer you on from the sidelines. I hope you can find some quiet in NYC...I’ve seen it there before.
Best of luck and stay strong,
Kari in Dallas (and Palmoli)
Hey, Kari! I'm REALLY excited that you're here, and you will love Italy (and clearly already do) just as much as I love Italy. I'll still write about my nine years in the country, no worries. But now I'll have even more "local color" to add, albeit of a New York City variety. God help me.
Thanks for reaching out. I'm here if you need any perspective or advice!
As, you said, nine years ago you rolled the dice and won. It didn't happen passively; you made it happen. You found a way to tap dance through the cultural and personal minefields you encountered until you found a place that felt like home. You did it once, and you can do it again.
No, you WILL do it again.
Will it be Italy? Of course not, but it will be something different, and perhaps something wonderful. You have a gift for finding things to appreciate and seeing those things in ways others don't (or can't). Be open to that. Sure, it might seem terrifying now, but moving halfway around the world had to be at least a wee bit terrifying, no? The past nine years may have dulled the memory of that terror, but I'd wager it was there. And you overcame it and thrived.
You can do that again.
Who knows what this next phase of life will hold for you? Remember, nothing in life is permanent. None of us are going to get our of here alive. We might think we've reached our destination, but eventually we, too, shall be dragged out by our feet. Enjoy the moment, for it's all we have to fully inhabit.
I don't blame you for being scared. In your shoes, any sane, thoughtful person would be. But, at the risk of sounding trite, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're a brave person, and you've already closed your eyes and taken an unimaginable leap once. You know what that feels like, and you also knows what it feels like when you discover another world. Having done something vaguely similar myself, I can relate to a small degree. It takes cojones grandes to pick and move halfway around the world.
Returning can be an even greater challenge. That much I do remember.
Hold onto what you're feeling. It's legitimate and rare. And know that the future can hold wonderful things for you. I wish the best for you and for John. Times like these test relationships. Having a strong one will help you weather the storm.
Remember to be good to one another. Every ship needs a safe harbor when the wind starts to blow and the waves become tough to navigate. Besides, you're going to need someone to hold your beer every now and then, right? 🤣
What, are you kidding? You TOTALLY relate. We're made out of the same stuff, you and I. Same perspectives, same fear and loathing in Las Vegas dynamic, all of it.
Your perspective and encouragement mean a lot to me, Jack. I devour every word you write, always, determined to chipmunk it away. John says I have to approach this relo as a writer, and I do believe he's right. It's a variation on what you're telling me, which is to hold on to what I'm feeling.
So I will do that. Yes, times like these test relationships. I'll fight for what I love, but there is such a thing as force majeure, and only a fool refuses to see that or acknowledge its power.
I'll be reporting back. Thanks for being a friend.
I do what I can. 😆❤️
Stacey, not all New Yorkers (myself retroactively included) are stoned, drunk and obnoxious. )) Just like not every Italian is a card-carrying Mafia member. Please. Wake up and look around you. See all the real tragedy and misery unfolding in the world right now.
Nooooooo! I don't believe that. Trust me. I'm merely reporting what John tells me (since he's already there), which is that the whole city is up in smoke right now ;-)
Trust me, none of the tragedy or misery escapes me.
My heart breaks for you, for having to give up your life in Italy, your cats, the peace you found-all of it. It makes my heart clench with fear to ever consider that I would ever have to leave Italy. I sincerely hope that after the shock wears off that you find new joys and a new rhythm amid the chaos you describe. "Bloom where you are planted" could be a helpful mantra during this transition.
I know exactly how you feel. I've watched friends of mine repatriate with the same sensation of horror and empathy. It's easy to leave something you hate; much harder to leave something you love. And I have had this dream of Italy. Please continue living it for me.
I can't get that word "skronk" out of my ears. That it's objective correlative is a real cacophony in yours makes me feel a bit sad. Yeah, sure, don the armour to survive. Kinda like a cold Ukrainian in the trenches.
Those poor people. They have it so much worse. A thousand times worse. I feel so awful for their plight, I'm consumed with guilt for even discussing my nothing-in-comparison bullshit. But ... at the end of the day, it IS my bullshit. It's real to me. And maybe my words will reach someone out there who is struggling with a similar situation. I sure hope so.
My heart goes out to you.
Part of the reason my second marriage died: I refused to move to NYC. I'd lived there before.
Hang in there. New York is not necessarily forever, by any means. And there are amazing opportunities there. There are amazing people there.
PM me your address, or a mailbox, once you have one. Sophie's grandmother, my mother in law from that deceased second marriage, wrote a wonderful book about the literary history of Gramercy Park. I'll send you a copy, and a copy of the walking tour of the neighborhood she wrote for ConEd too, if I can find a copy on ABE dot com.
Sending love and blessings. There's a lot to love in that seething metropolis. May you find wonderful opportunities there!
I would love that, Caroline! Thank you. The minute we get settled, I'll send you my address.
Love those walking tours!
I cannot even imagine your trepidation. Moving to a place like NY City would surely be the death of me. I am a creature of wide open spaces and have found exactly that here in WY. It is a looooooong story that I'll share one day. For you my friend here's hoping for as soft a landing as is possible. You'll manage just fine no doubt and end up being all that much stronger as a result. To be sure you will have a host of supportive fans here! Need something? Just ask.
You are 100% a creature of wide open spaces. This I know. So I will report from the trenches if you promise me you guys will stay put! There's no need for you to put yourselves through this kind of stress when you don't have to.
Thank you for being such a friend, Steve.
You are already aware of my travails, so I'll not advertise them any further than I have. There's an ice storm outside right now, rattling on the roof. Seems appropriate.
We are surviving. Even if it's just for the next hour, the next day, the next week. More than that, no one can answer to. But things seem to be breaking your way right now in many respects, and THAT makes me happy.
It occurs to me that I've never had a rental application declined. It is looking like all the kitties will be taken care of, though it will involve shifting 3 of them to a shelter 150 miles north of where I live. One dog (the younger) may have a taker; the other (the 13yo Lab mix) there was only ever going to be one solution.
I’ve been thinking of you and John lately. A lot. It will not be the NYC of the 90’s that John remembers. It's a money town, more than ever. But you are strong, and both you and John are survivors in this often cruel world. Both of you are great in your respective fields. Your writing is sooooo good, and consistently so. Maybe NYC will be the place that picks up on that. It’s such a different place from the rest of the country. It’s harder to get almost anything done, but some of the most talented people in the world are there, and the people’s energy is electric. At least that’s how it was for me. I am eager to see how your re-entry goes.
Thank you, Harrison. It means a lot. John keeps telling me to look at NYC "like a writer," and hell, that's something I can definitely do. Creatives seek lives of psychological richness, so I'm guessing Gotham will be my opportunity to plumb those depths. You know I'll be reporting on them.
Can’t wait to see your observations and writing about them!
Stacey, I’m thinking of you. My beloved Manhattan is not for everyone, that’s true. However, I think with the right set of eyes you will not only survive but thrive. Remember, too, that we can talk off-line and I will be more than happy to share all sorts of info about my city with you. Hugs!
I want to love Manhattan, Jessi. I know it has enormous merit. So, yes, I may be grousing about it now, but who's to say I won't fall head over heels in love with it the same way most people do? I'm willing. And I am really glad to have your guidance on the city.
Other than the bizarre (suspicious?) Internet outage that is covering most of Italy right now I generally have access. Hubby and I are in Sicily for the week but as long as there’s Internet I am available. Looking forward to sharing tidbits and tips about my beloved city….🤗