I am sad that I only just found you at the end of your time in Italy, and just at the beginning of my own time there. We are escaping (fleeing?) for the reasons you wrote of and more.
I’m hooked though, and will cheer you on from the sidelines. I hope you can find some quiet in NYC...I’ve seen it there before.
As, you said, nine years ago you rolled the dice and won. It didn't happen passively; you made it happen. You found a way to tap dance through the cultural and personal minefields you encountered until you found a place that felt like home. You did it once, and you can do it again.
No, you WILL do it again.
Will it be Italy? Of course not, but it will be something different, and perhaps something wonderful. You have a gift for finding things to appreciate and seeing those things in ways others don't (or can't). Be open to that. Sure, it might seem terrifying now, but moving halfway around the world had to be at least a wee bit terrifying, no? The past nine years may have dulled the memory of that terror, but I'd wager it was there. And you overcame it and thrived.
You can do that again.
Who knows what this next phase of life will hold for you? Remember, nothing in life is permanent. None of us are going to get our of here alive. We might think we've reached our destination, but eventually we, too, shall be dragged out by our feet. Enjoy the moment, for it's all we have to fully inhabit.
I don't blame you for being scared. In your shoes, any sane, thoughtful person would be. But, at the risk of sounding trite, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're a brave person, and you've already closed your eyes and taken an unimaginable leap once. You know what that feels like, and you also knows what it feels like when you discover another world. Having done something vaguely similar myself, I can relate to a small degree. It takes cojones grandes to pick and move halfway around the world.
Returning can be an even greater challenge. That much I do remember.
Hold onto what you're feeling. It's legitimate and rare. And know that the future can hold wonderful things for you. I wish the best for you and for John. Times like these test relationships. Having a strong one will help you weather the storm.
Remember to be good to one another. Every ship needs a safe harbor when the wind starts to blow and the waves become tough to navigate. Besides, you're going to need someone to hold your beer every now and then, right? 🤣
Stacey, not all New Yorkers (myself retroactively included) are stoned, drunk and obnoxious. )) Just like not every Italian is a card-carrying Mafia member. Please. Wake up and look around you. See all the real tragedy and misery unfolding in the world right now.
My heart breaks for you, for having to give up your life in Italy, your cats, the peace you found-all of it. It makes my heart clench with fear to ever consider that I would ever have to leave Italy. I sincerely hope that after the shock wears off that you find new joys and a new rhythm amid the chaos you describe. "Bloom where you are planted" could be a helpful mantra during this transition.
I can't get that word "skronk" out of my ears. That it's objective correlative is a real cacophony in yours makes me feel a bit sad. Yeah, sure, don the armour to survive. Kinda like a cold Ukrainian in the trenches.
Part of the reason my second marriage died: I refused to move to NYC. I'd lived there before.
Hang in there. New York is not necessarily forever, by any means. And there are amazing opportunities there. There are amazing people there.
PM me your address, or a mailbox, once you have one. Sophie's grandmother, my mother in law from that deceased second marriage, wrote a wonderful book about the literary history of Gramercy Park. I'll send you a copy, and a copy of the walking tour of the neighborhood she wrote for ConEd too, if I can find a copy on ABE dot com.
Sending love and blessings. There's a lot to love in that seething metropolis. May you find wonderful opportunities there!
I cannot even imagine your trepidation. Moving to a place like NY City would surely be the death of me. I am a creature of wide open spaces and have found exactly that here in WY. It is a looooooong story that I'll share one day. For you my friend here's hoping for as soft a landing as is possible. You'll manage just fine no doubt and end up being all that much stronger as a result. To be sure you will have a host of supportive fans here! Need something? Just ask.
You are already aware of my travails, so I'll not advertise them any further than I have. There's an ice storm outside right now, rattling on the roof. Seems appropriate.
I’ve been thinking of you and John lately. A lot. It will not be the NYC of the 90’s that John remembers. It's a money town, more than ever. But you are strong, and both you and John are survivors in this often cruel world. Both of you are great in your respective fields. Your writing is sooooo good, and consistently so. Maybe NYC will be the place that picks up on that. It’s such a different place from the rest of the country. It’s harder to get almost anything done, but some of the most talented people in the world are there, and the people’s energy is electric. At least that’s how it was for me. I am eager to see how your re-entry goes.
Stacey, I’m thinking of you. My beloved Manhattan is not for everyone, that’s true. However, I think with the right set of eyes you will not only survive but thrive. Remember, too, that we can talk off-line and I will be more than happy to share all sorts of info about my city with you. Hugs!
I am sad that I only just found you at the end of your time in Italy, and just at the beginning of my own time there. We are escaping (fleeing?) for the reasons you wrote of and more.
I’m hooked though, and will cheer you on from the sidelines. I hope you can find some quiet in NYC...I’ve seen it there before.
Best of luck and stay strong,
Kari in Dallas (and Palmoli)
As, you said, nine years ago you rolled the dice and won. It didn't happen passively; you made it happen. You found a way to tap dance through the cultural and personal minefields you encountered until you found a place that felt like home. You did it once, and you can do it again.
No, you WILL do it again.
Will it be Italy? Of course not, but it will be something different, and perhaps something wonderful. You have a gift for finding things to appreciate and seeing those things in ways others don't (or can't). Be open to that. Sure, it might seem terrifying now, but moving halfway around the world had to be at least a wee bit terrifying, no? The past nine years may have dulled the memory of that terror, but I'd wager it was there. And you overcame it and thrived.
You can do that again.
Who knows what this next phase of life will hold for you? Remember, nothing in life is permanent. None of us are going to get our of here alive. We might think we've reached our destination, but eventually we, too, shall be dragged out by our feet. Enjoy the moment, for it's all we have to fully inhabit.
I don't blame you for being scared. In your shoes, any sane, thoughtful person would be. But, at the risk of sounding trite, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're a brave person, and you've already closed your eyes and taken an unimaginable leap once. You know what that feels like, and you also knows what it feels like when you discover another world. Having done something vaguely similar myself, I can relate to a small degree. It takes cojones grandes to pick and move halfway around the world.
Returning can be an even greater challenge. That much I do remember.
Hold onto what you're feeling. It's legitimate and rare. And know that the future can hold wonderful things for you. I wish the best for you and for John. Times like these test relationships. Having a strong one will help you weather the storm.
Remember to be good to one another. Every ship needs a safe harbor when the wind starts to blow and the waves become tough to navigate. Besides, you're going to need someone to hold your beer every now and then, right? 🤣
Stacey, not all New Yorkers (myself retroactively included) are stoned, drunk and obnoxious. )) Just like not every Italian is a card-carrying Mafia member. Please. Wake up and look around you. See all the real tragedy and misery unfolding in the world right now.
My heart breaks for you, for having to give up your life in Italy, your cats, the peace you found-all of it. It makes my heart clench with fear to ever consider that I would ever have to leave Italy. I sincerely hope that after the shock wears off that you find new joys and a new rhythm amid the chaos you describe. "Bloom where you are planted" could be a helpful mantra during this transition.
I can't get that word "skronk" out of my ears. That it's objective correlative is a real cacophony in yours makes me feel a bit sad. Yeah, sure, don the armour to survive. Kinda like a cold Ukrainian in the trenches.
My heart goes out to you.
Part of the reason my second marriage died: I refused to move to NYC. I'd lived there before.
Hang in there. New York is not necessarily forever, by any means. And there are amazing opportunities there. There are amazing people there.
PM me your address, or a mailbox, once you have one. Sophie's grandmother, my mother in law from that deceased second marriage, wrote a wonderful book about the literary history of Gramercy Park. I'll send you a copy, and a copy of the walking tour of the neighborhood she wrote for ConEd too, if I can find a copy on ABE dot com.
Sending love and blessings. There's a lot to love in that seething metropolis. May you find wonderful opportunities there!
I cannot even imagine your trepidation. Moving to a place like NY City would surely be the death of me. I am a creature of wide open spaces and have found exactly that here in WY. It is a looooooong story that I'll share one day. For you my friend here's hoping for as soft a landing as is possible. You'll manage just fine no doubt and end up being all that much stronger as a result. To be sure you will have a host of supportive fans here! Need something? Just ask.
You are already aware of my travails, so I'll not advertise them any further than I have. There's an ice storm outside right now, rattling on the roof. Seems appropriate.
I’ve been thinking of you and John lately. A lot. It will not be the NYC of the 90’s that John remembers. It's a money town, more than ever. But you are strong, and both you and John are survivors in this often cruel world. Both of you are great in your respective fields. Your writing is sooooo good, and consistently so. Maybe NYC will be the place that picks up on that. It’s such a different place from the rest of the country. It’s harder to get almost anything done, but some of the most talented people in the world are there, and the people’s energy is electric. At least that’s how it was for me. I am eager to see how your re-entry goes.
Stacey, I’m thinking of you. My beloved Manhattan is not for everyone, that’s true. However, I think with the right set of eyes you will not only survive but thrive. Remember, too, that we can talk off-line and I will be more than happy to share all sorts of info about my city with you. Hugs!