"Pain is the shell that contains your understanding."
That is an especially good line.
But now I want to noodle with it. (Because it got me thinking.)
Because "shell" suggests a hardened interior and exterior wall, a sharply defined "line" that separates inner from outer. Even when (and while) it spikes and stabs, that pain is a penumbra that infuses and suffuses everything that is your life.
Every now and again I write something that feels like I hit a sweet spot. This feels like you did the same. I read this feeling as if it was speaking to me. In a world that really has lost its center, it's easy to feel lost, adrift, lonely- whatever word you might attach to the feeling. Lord knows I've been there time and time again...and probably will be in the future- but that's OK. I can no more avoid suffering than I can avoid breathing. What I can do is to embrace what is causing that suffering and face it for what it is- surmountable and temporary.
Life can be hard. Life can suck at times. But, like everything else in life, that will pass. I have to recognize that without pain I can never fully appreciate joy. As you said, pain is what will force to a place where we can grow...and I doubt I'm done growing yet.
Thanks for this. It's good to be reminded now and again that I'm not alone in dealing with my demons.
You are NOT alone. Not just in the literal sense with your lovely, smart, beautiful wife, but in the more collective sense. We all have our hedges though, don't we? Things we do to distract ourselves from that pain. I read and work. Those are my hedges. You are a phenomenal writer--that's one of yours. Imagine the millions of people who don't have those outlets, those resources? Who exist altogether without the creative urge. Those are the ones I fear for.
Thank you for the lovely words.
"Pain is the shell that contains your understanding."
That is an especially good line.
But now I want to noodle with it. (Because it got me thinking.)
Because "shell" suggests a hardened interior and exterior wall, a sharply defined "line" that separates inner from outer. Even when (and while) it spikes and stabs, that pain is a penumbra that infuses and suffuses everything that is your life.
And so much of that pain for you recently is the loneliness of missing your darling friend. Loss is a bitter fucking pill.
Every now and again I write something that feels like I hit a sweet spot. This feels like you did the same. I read this feeling as if it was speaking to me. In a world that really has lost its center, it's easy to feel lost, adrift, lonely- whatever word you might attach to the feeling. Lord knows I've been there time and time again...and probably will be in the future- but that's OK. I can no more avoid suffering than I can avoid breathing. What I can do is to embrace what is causing that suffering and face it for what it is- surmountable and temporary.
Life can be hard. Life can suck at times. But, like everything else in life, that will pass. I have to recognize that without pain I can never fully appreciate joy. As you said, pain is what will force to a place where we can grow...and I doubt I'm done growing yet.
Thanks for this. It's good to be reminded now and again that I'm not alone in dealing with my demons.
You are NOT alone. Not just in the literal sense with your lovely, smart, beautiful wife, but in the more collective sense. We all have our hedges though, don't we? Things we do to distract ourselves from that pain. I read and work. Those are my hedges. You are a phenomenal writer--that's one of yours. Imagine the millions of people who don't have those outlets, those resources? Who exist altogether without the creative urge. Those are the ones I fear for.