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felice data's avatar

oh stacey, firstly, i am so sorry for your loss of your mother. she was blessed to have you in her life. and death. your piece helps many who have had similar experiences feel comfort and confirmation in their pain...that they are not alone. especially if their mothers were wonderful. i too felt your pain and experience. this year...3 years?...has been such a confluence of shit; for you,the country and world. AI may become useful. Roses will still fill my lungs with joy. Mondavi cab will still satiate my tongue. my daughter's hug will still bring me touch, frangrance, heartbeats. i hope that and AI are not mutuallye xclusive. most of all, your amazing writing gives me such hope. and such confidence that good peopel will prevail and make right.

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Jack Cluth's avatar

This post has a certain symmetry with my own life. As Erin and I are enjoying vacation in Toronto, my mother-in-law in in the end stages of dementia in a group foster home in Longview, WA. We were worried for a time that she might die while we're in Canada. While it doesn't appear that will happen, her demise is not far off. MIL is/was an amazing woman, and I'm glad I got to know her before her mind began its descent into its Dante-esque version of Hell. While one sharp as a tack, she's now a shell of her former self, physically and mentally.

I miss MIL, because though her body is still with us, her mind has long since departed the premises. It's sad watching someone you love being destroyed by something that robs them of every shred of their essence and leaves them an empty vessel waiting for death to claim them.

The end of a life well lived is often a grossly unfair and untidy process that leaves loved ones in a place of pain, sorrow, and intense, extended grief. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I feel your pain.

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